Please Don't Change
by Planet of the Deaf
Summary: A short Menna/Smoleman story covering the feeling of Matt and Jenna around the time of Time of the Doctor, and the loss that echoes the end of Eleven/Clara.
1. Jenna's story

**This is a Menna/Smoleman account of the feeling of Matt and Jenna around the time of _Time of the Doctor_, inspired by the Behind the Lens feature, which is quite emotional in places, and shows the closeness of the two individuals, and mirrors the loss of Eleven/Clara. **

**The Matt and Jenna here are purely fictional characters, rather than representations of real people.**

* * *

"Please don't change" Clara cried out as her Doctor started to regenerate, her eyes welling up with years.

Watching this on the sofa at her parents' house, Jenna was similarly emotional. She desperately tried not to cry, as she saw her Doctor, her Matt disappear off screen and turn into Peter Capaldi, but it was no good. That was the last time they would appear together on screen, and the emotion of it hit her, as tears poured down her cheeks.

"There, there love" comforted her mother as she mopped up the tears with a tissue. "Quite emotional that ending, even if I didn't follow half of what was going on, as we never watched the programme before you were on it. "

"Thanks mum" replied Clara trying to pull herself together. "It's always very sad when a Doctor regenerates. Especially when he's been so good."

"That Matt Smith seems a very nice young man."

"Yes, I've really enjoyed working with him."

"How's Peter Capaldi?" asked her father. "You started with him before Christmas didn't you?"

"Very nice, and a great actor." And this was no lie, Peter was good company, and would be a wonderful Doctor. But he wasn't Matt.

"That's good, I loved him in _The Thick of It_. _Downton Abbey_ is on now, can you turn the TV over to ITV, thanks."

Jenna changed the channel, but her mind was elsewhere. It was ridiculous, she tried to tell herself. Actors come and go, that's how the job works. And yet, and yet…

Her mind went back to September, and the read through for _Time of The Doctor_, of Matt dissolving in tears as he reached his final line, of how she bowed her head desperately trying to keep it together and not cry as well.

She thought of the filming, of the endless fist bumps and hugs between her and Matt, as if by holding on to each other they could stay together as Eleven and Clara forever. Of how she mock scolded him for dumping her.

She remembered the last day, her final line to Matt and how Steven had said how wonderfully she had portrayed Clara's anguish, when it was so easy to do, as it was her anguish as well.

And then it was over. Except they then had the 50th Anniversary Celebrations, which meant seeing lots more of each other, as if nothing was going to change. The Convention, where Matt had complimented her hair, and to the laughing audience had had to remind everyone, who was pairing them off, what a good friend he was with her boyfriend. How he had rested his head on her legs as she stroked it.

And then it was really over. This was nothing important, Jenna tried to convince herself. Actors come and go, and her wonderful boyfriend Richard would always be there for her, even if work commitments meant that they hardly ever saw each other. It's not as if Jenna had been working on the show for long either, she had spent far longer working on Emmerdale.

But that day in December, the first read through day for Series 8, brought it all back to her. Whenever she looked next to her, Matt wasn't there, and however many times she turned around, hoping she was somehow mistaken, he never appeared. Jenna hoped and prayed Matt would suddenly bound though the door, and with an exclamation of "Fooled you there!", explain how he was actually staying for Series 8, and this was one of Moff's top secret plans, to have both him and Peter in the show, but he never showed up.

Peter noticed the torment in Jenna's eyes, and spoke to her in private during one of the breaks.

"I understand Jenna, I've had people leave shows I've worked on, and it can be really tough. I know you're really missing him, and I could see the chemistry between you two on screen, and obviously working with me a craggy old Scotsman won't be the same for you, but I believe we can make it work."

"Sorry" replied Jenna, "It's not your fault, it's me. You've been great today, I'm sure you'll be a wonderful Doctor, it's just taking me a bit longer than I thought to get used to the change. Today was a struggle, but I'm sure I'll be better tomorrow."

And she was better, the week she had with Peter reading through Series 8 scripts went really well, and Jenna as she sat down on Christmas Day to watch Time of the Doctor, was really looking forward to resuming working with him in the New Year.

Then she watched the episode, and it all came flooding back. She left her family to continue watching Downton Abbey, and fled to her room before they saw her break down again…

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**The next chapter will cover Matt's feelings...**


	2. Matt's story

**This chapter covers Matt's point of view. Many thanks for the reviews, they are much appreciated**

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"I will always remember when the Doctor was me."

Matt Smith had found it an emotional struggle, watching _Time of The Doctor _with his family on Christmas Day, but this line was the one that pushed him over the edge, the line that he knew Moff had inserted _especially_ for him. It brought back all the memories of his time on the show, and what he was giving up. It reminded him of his emotions at the first read through of that line, and that day on set when he said farewell to the role. As the tears fell, he looked up and saw Peter Capaldi on screen, talking about his kidneys and he knew his time was over.

"Are you all right Matthew?" asked his mother passing him a tissue.

"Sorry, just getting a bit emotional there" replied Matt wiping the tears from his cheeks. "I was like this at the read through, it's that line, it sets me off every time."

"Shall we rewind that last bit of the episode, I think we all got a bit distracted."

His mother rewound the last ten minutes of the episode, and once again he watched his final moments on the iconic show. He watched Clara's face, as she showed the joy of her Doctor being back, then the pain when she realised that her Doctor would shortly be gone. His final speech, and this time he just about kept it together when the Doctor said _that_ line. The moment when Amy reappeared, oh how great it had been to appear with Karen one last time. The removal of the bow tie, what a lovely symbolic moment.

And then he saw Clara's desperate face begging him "No, No…Please don't change" and it broke his heart, as it brought back the last day of filming, and how hard it had been to separate the end of Eleven and Clara from the end of Matt and Jenna. Those beautiful moist eyes begging him not to change, started his tears falling again, as on screen he saw his Clara, his Jenna staring in shock as a new Doctor took his place.

"It was very emotional at the end, but I really enjoyed that episode" commented his father. And good to get some answers to those old questions. Odd to see my boy looking older than me though!"

"I still think you're mad to leave the show" added his mother. "Of course I will always support you in your career choices, but leaving such a successful show, I mean Hollywood is all very well, but it's a massive risk."

"Life goes on" mumbled Matt in reply, "I need new challenges like the _American Psycho_ musical I'm in at the moment."

"I understand dear, but you could have done both. In Cardiff they'll be filming a whole new series of wonderful adventures; you and Jenna get on so well and…sorry, we shouldn't be telling you how to live your life."

"No, no that's fine" replied Matt, who though he wouldn't admit it was genuinely nervous about the future, and terribly sad about not working with Jenna again. "I'll, er be upstairs, got a couple of emails to send."

Upstairs, he collapsed on his bed, his mind full of thoughts.

He thought back to 2012, and the sorrow he'd felt when his best mates Karen and Arthur left the show, they were such a team that he was sure things would never be the same after they'd gone. Thus it was easy to secretly agree with Moff that he would leave at the end of 2013, as he wanted to stay for the 50th anniversary.

It was only after he'd started working with Jenna Coleman that he started to wonder if this was the right decision. It was simply, that working with Jenna seemed so _right_, the two of them bounced off each other so well, it made coming to work a real pleasure. And whereas the Doctor had a best mates relationship with Amy, with Clara the relationship was more flirty and physical, with an awful lot of cuddling and hand holding. And Jenna was so cute looking…

Matt anguished about the decision, but eventually decided that the agreed timescales made sense for all concerned, and the shock announcement about his departure was made public in the summer. Not working with Jenna again would be a hard pill to swallow, but hey actors come and go, and she had a boyfriend anyway, Richard who was good friends with Matt.

Thus Matt was in a good frame of mind when everyone met up in Cardiff in September for the first read through for _Time of the Doctor_. That's when it all dawned on him what he was about to give up.

It was when he got to the "I will always remember when the Doctor was me" line that he finally cracked, and dissolved into tears, the enormity of his exit finally hitting home.

He remembered trying to pull himself together, and seeing Jenna also in tears next to him.

He then remembered the filming, of how he and Jenna had so enjoyed their scenes together, but also of how each day they would touch and hug each other as the day of departure drew nearer, until that final day when Jenna could hardly bring herself to let him go.

That was such a hard day, his final scenes with Jenna, his final scene as the Doctor, the emotional speech from Moff, who was close to tears himself…

But, then that wasn't quite the end of Matt as the Doctor, as there was the 50th anniversary to celebrate. Matt was enormously proud of what he and the show had achieved, and was determined to enjoy the publicity events and his final convention as the current Doctor, so felt no need to pull back if he wanted to compliment Jenna's hair, or rest his head on her legs. He knew the fans would enjoy such moments as well!

But then it was _really_ over. There had always been gaps in filming where he could do other things, so his first post Who project, a musical version of _American Psycho_ had felt just like the usual break between series, until he got that text from Jenna.

_Start read throughs with Peter tomorrow. Hope musical is going well, see you soon, love Jenna X_

And he realised that he now was a former Doctor.

Matt had replied, sending his best wishes, and got another text the next day from Jenna saying how well things had gone with Peter, which cheered him, but then that night he got a call from someone else on set who told him a different story, about how Jenna had been upset all day, and was really struggling. Looking out at his cold and empty dressing room, Matt wished he could be with Jenna, to hold her and tell her everything would be all right. He wished he could be back in his purple tweed coat, his Doctor and the Impossible Girl reunited once more...

Matt was then jolted back to the present, as his phone received a text. It was from Jenna, he eagerly read the message.

_I will always remember when the Doctor was you_

And Matt dissolved into tears once more.


	3. Pemberley and Psycho

**After the two introductory chapters, the story now continues. This chapter is a lot lighter than the first two, so a break from the tears for the time being!**

* * *

Later that evening Matt emerged.

"Ah, there you are Matthew" spoke his mother. "Don't worry, if it's any consolation, all over the world there will be teary _Doctor Who_ fans going through similar feelings to yours."

"Oh, so there are 77 million upset people out there, and it's all _my_ fault. Thanks a lot mum!"

"Don't be silly dear; the number of upset people will be much smaller than that. Many viewers will be glad to get shot of you!"

Matt was left speechless.

The next day, Jenna's mother spoke to her.

"I'm glad you're feeling better love. _Death Comes to Pemberley_ is on in ten minutes, I'm looking forward to that, as I do like a good costume drama. What with _Doctor Who_ on last night, and _Pemberley_ on for the next three nights, that's four nights running you'll be on TV this Christmas."

"You won't see me on TV for a while after this, as _Doctor Who_ doesn't return until August. I should warn you, my character Lydia Wickham is quite annoying, so perhaps it's just as well I'll be off air for a long time!"

Meanwhile in the Smith household…

"Nothing on TV tonight" moaned his father, "Want to watch a DVD, or one of your old episodes perhaps?"

"Well, er actually" replied Matt, "I was going to watch _Death Comes to Pemberley_, which is on shortly."

"But you hate costume dramas! What makes you want to watch this one?"

"I er heard that it was good."

"If you say so."

He sat down to watch it, while his father read a book. When Lydia Wickham made her big entrance, his mother, who had sat down next to him immediately recognised Jenna.

"Ooh look, it's Jenna! No wonder you wanted to watch it."

Matt squirmed in his seat.

"You should have said so Matthew, I do like her. Don't be shy."

Jenna wasn't in much of the first episode, but when she did appear, she lit up the screen. It was fun, thought Matt to see Jenna play someone very different from Clara. Lydia was vain and ignorant, as opposed to the caring and intelligent Clara. Jenna really looked the part too, as a 19th Century beauty…

Afterwards he sent her a text.

_Just been watching Pemberley, love that Matthew Rhys and isn't Anna good. Someone else caught my eye, must be the funny nose, can't remember her name though. Something like Bubbly personality masking bossy control freak I think _

Jenna received many congratulatory messages after the programme, but her heart leapt as she read the text from Matt. It reminded her of Matt's teasing, and the banter between them that made filming days go in a flash. She sent a reply straight away.

_Thanks rocket fin ears. Richard and I will both be in London next week, can you fix up two tickets for us to see American Psycho. Maybe go for a drink afterwards, 2__nd__ January OK? Jenna X_

The next day Matt, who had returned to work, confirmed the date. He was excited that Jenna would be coming to see him on stage, but also very nervous, as he really wanted her to enjoy the show and his performance. He was slightly disappointed that Richard would be with her; he liked Richard as well, but knew he would have to reign in what he could say.

On the 2nd, Jenna was very excited as she and Richard approached the theatre. It been a long time since she had seen Matt, and with Doctor Who filming about to start again, she would largely be in Cardiff for the next few months, away from him in London.

Jenna and Richard had seats near the front, so Matt had a good view of them. He tried to concentrate on the show and his performance, but couldn't help glancing over to see that she was enjoying herself. She seemed happy enough, and joined in with the rapturous applause at the end.

After a post performance drink, Jenna and Richard waited at the back entrance for Matt to emerge. After a few minutes he came out.

"Ooh, groupies, I've always wanted to have groupies... How are you!"

Matt gave Richard a manly hug, then Jenna a more passionate 'Doctor Clara style' hug.

"How did you enjoy the show?"

"It was really good mate" replied Richard. "You must have massive guts to do all that singing."

"Well don't worry, I won't be moving on to Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals next, I think London's heard quite enough of my singing voice!"

"You were great Matty" enthused Jenna, "I loved your performance. Nice underpants too" she giggled.

"Well you must be used to seeing me without my clothes on by now."

Jenna's face showed some mock surprise and Matt realised the ambiguity of this statement.

"After er my naked scene in _Time of the Doctor_, that is."

Jenna smirked.

"So what are your plans, after the musical finishes?" continued Richard.

"I don't know. It would be great if another film came up, hopefully _How to Catch a Monster_ will be a success, and a springboard for further US work."

"I'll keep my ear open for any good roles."

"Thanks a lot. Right, anyone fancy a drink" continued Matt.

"Sorry Matt" replied Richard, "I need to make a move as I'm flying back to LA tomorrow, and have stuff I need to sort out. I'm sure you two have plenty to catch up on anyway."

"Good seeing you mate, and have a good flight" Matt replied shaking his hand.

"I'll see you around, let me know if you need any Hollywood contacts. Jen, I'll see you tomorrow". Richard and Jenna kissed then he departed.

"Right, I fancy a drink" announced Jenna, "Got anywhere in mind?"

"There's a bar near here, I quite like it."

"Not cocktails on the moon?"

"Sorry, it might have slipped your attention, but I don't have the TARDIS anymore! Some Scottish guy took it from me. But this bar's not bad."

"Ok, lead the way chinboy."

Matt and Jenna linked arms and headed off down the street.

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**I haven't seen Matt's musical (which starts with him in his underpants), but thought Jenna was really good in Death Comes to Pemberley. A very different character to Clara, even if visually you could imagine her as another Clara fragment!**

**Thanks for the reviews, all suggestions very welcome. The next chapter will continue in the bar...**


	4. Together (for a bit)

**No reviews for the last chapter, which was a bit disappointing. I guess it was too happy :-)**

**A bit of a plot twist at the end of this chapter...**

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Matt and Clara reached the bar and found a table in the corner.

"So, did you have a good Christmas then?" asked Jenna, taking a sip from a glass of white wine.

"Great thanks, even if I couldn't avoid seeing you on TV. Four nights running is a bit much really. That Lydia Wickham is really annoying too, vain and ignorant, so it must have been really easy for you to play her!" Matt smirked.

"Oi!" exclaimed Jenna, punching Matt on the arm. "You're only jealous because I was on TV more than you. Especially as you spent much of the time old and decrepit, whereas in all my appearances I was young…"

"And beautiful."

Jenna smiled.

"Ok, I let you off, Mr smoothy. Have you been enjoying _American Psycho_?"

"It's been good fun, hard work, but satisfying. It doesn't feel like I've really left _Doctor Who_ yet, _American Psycho_ just feels like something I'm doing between series. Like when you did _Pemberley_. I guess it will start sinking in when you start filming again, when's that?"

"On Monday. I return to Cardiff on Saturday."

"That soon eh" replied Matt before taking a large swig from his beer. "It's really strange, I know that I left the show at the right time, and yet, and yet I keep thinking about what I'll be missing. The sheer variety of stories, those amazing Moff words, the weird green screen stuff, the great guest actors, being adored by all those children."

Matt put his arm around Jenna, and continued.

"And above all, I'll miss you mate. We were a good team weren't we?"

"Yes Matty, it does feel like something really good was building there. Then you had to spoil it all by leaving me!" Jenna laughed.

"I hope you're not trying to make me feel guilty" replied Matt with a smile, holding Jenna a bit closer.

"Oh I can do far worse than that." And she could, as she realised how much she had missed him and how devastated she had been at his departure.

"How's Peter been?"

"He's been really good, funny and a very charismatic actor. I think he'll be a great Doctor."

"Better than me?"

"_Much_ better. Well you dumped me, don't expect soft soap now! I am _so_ over you now."

Matt put on his best hurt puppy dog face.

"Well a bit over you. Actually not very over you at all. That first day of the read through was a bit of a struggle."

"I know."

"You know?"

"Sorry, I wasn't snooping or anything like that. Somebody on the crew phoned me that evening, as he was worried about you."

Jenna was embarrassed that her struggles that day had got out to Matt, and that her feelings had been so transparent to everyone.

"It all got a bit much for me that day, I'm sorry that you were involved, I'm sure you had a million more important things to worry about at the time." Jenna's beautiful eyes were getting moist as she thought back to that day, which tore at Matt's heart. She looked so attractive, and yet so vulnerable.

"Don't be silly". Matt kissed her on the forehead. "You know I care about you. And it _was_ me that dumped you, after all."

"And don't you ever forget it!" replied Jenna poking Matt on the forehead, as she perked up.

Over several drinks, the two of them reminisced that night about their time together on the show, and their future apart.

"Once the musical ends, are you straight off to America?"

"I don't know. I might hang around here for the right part to come along, or go out to LA and do the auditioning circuit. Probably end up waiting in a burger joint, like all the other unemployed actors."

"I'm sure it won't come to that. Besides, you'd make a terrible waiter, you'd drop everything!"

"Might have a point there Coleman. Your Richard, he's been out there for a while now. It must be hard, being separated from him for so much of the time."

"Yes, I've seen a lot more of you than I've seen of him this last couple of years. And now you're escaping as well. Gonna be quiet in Cardiff for the next few months."

"I'll come and visit, keep you company."

"Thanks, but don't be silly" replied Jenna, giving Matt an affectionate hug. "You've got a career to worry about, you've got new roles to go for. I'll be fine."

Matt was unconvinced Jenna would be fine, filming away from home for long periods of time could be lonely, without friends and family around. But his thoughts were interrupted by the barman calling time. Matt and Jenna finished their drinks and left the bar, wobbling slightly as they walked together arm in arm.

Outside, they walked to the main road to hail a taxi. Matt was dropped off first.

Both were genuinely sad as they said their goodbyes outside the taxi.

"Good luck with Series 8, I bet it'll be the best yet! I'm sure you'll have a great time, but if you need anything let me know."

"Good luck with _American Psycho_, I'll be back in London in a couple of months' time as there's a short break in filming, if you're around."

They came together for a goodnight kiss on the cheeks; both were tempted in that moment to kiss on the lips, but stopped themselves in time.

The next day Jenna was busy first seeing Richard off at the airport, then going out for a meal with her flatmates as she would be leaving for Cardiff the next day. On Saturday she got up nice and early, as she had her packing to do, and for these long shoots, she felt more comfortable taking as much as she could fit in her car! As she was going through her toiletries, her phone rang. It was Matt.

"Hi Matt, this is a pleasant surprise, how are you."

"Jen, bad news, I'm afraid."

"What's wrong?"

"Have you seen today's _Daily Mirror_? They've run a story about us, apparently someone who was in the bar we were in on Thursday took some camera phone pictures of us, and some scum journalist has made up a story about us having an affair, and about you cheating on Richard. I'm really sorry Jenna, it was stupid choosing that place where I always go."

Matt sounded desperate. Jenna was stunned.

"An affair! Matty, don't worry, it's not your fault. Richard knows we're just friends, I'll talk to him when LA wakes up."

"Oh god, I'd hate to cause any problems between you two."

Hearing the anguish in Matt's voice, Jenna was determined to try and sound positive.

"We'll be fine. If I get asked anything by another journalist, I'll deny everything. Don't worry, it'll all blow over, must be a slow news day."

"Thank you" Matt replied weakly. "I'll let you get on, as I know you're busy. Obviously I'll deny everything as well."

Once the call ended, Jenna checked the _Daily Mirror_ website, and there the photos were of her and Matt, arms around each other, gazing into each other's eyes, and of him kissing her on the forehead. For someone who didn't know him, they did look a bit intimate, she had to admit, but the story that accompanied them was highly speculative and full of innuendo.

_...Matt Smith's Doctor had an intimate on screen relationship with his flirty assistant Clara (played by the lovely Jenna Coleman), but it looks like they're continuing off screen, and going a LOT further than on the hit show…always touching…couldn't keep their arms off each other…shared a taxi home…Richard Madden is often away in America…Matt and Jenna were rumoured to have become very close during filming…_

She really could do without this, she sighed. This was part of the territory of being a 'celebrity' but not something she enjoyed, or felt she deserved.

She looked at the photos again; she felt anger and frustration at this intrusion by the tabloid press, but seeing the photos of Matt hugging and holding her, she wished he could be there to hug and hold her again, and thought of being alone without him in a cold and wet Cardiff brought all her emotions flooding out again.

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**I thought having a bit of press intrusion would add to the pathos...It must be really hard being in the public eye all the time, Jenna in particular, is always being photographed on the street.**


	5. Apart again

**Thanks for all the reviews for Chapter 4, my comment at the start of it wasn't meant to sound as whiny as it came over! FanFiction seems to be playing up a bit at the moment, so hopefully you'll be able to read this ok.**

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Matt gloomily looked once more at the _Daily Mirror_ story. The one consolation of Jenna being in Cardiff was that she was far less likely to be bothered by the media, with most journalists being based in London, especially the ones dealing with celebrity gossip. The thought of her being by herself though, was one which filled him with great sadness; he wanted to be there for her, to care for her, to hold her. But what did these feelings mean? Surely it didn't mean that he was… no of course not. He was just being friendly to a mate. A mate who just happened to be beautiful, and fun and wonderful to be with.

He wasn't able to continue these thoughts, as he had a matinee performance of _American Psycho_ that day. Outside his flat, were the inevitable reporters and photographers, and a barrage of questions.

"How long has this been going on for?"

"Matt, you can trust me; we'll pay you well for an exclusive!"

"How do you think Richard will react?"

Matt ignored them, apart from issuing a single reply of "We're just good friends" and headed off for the Tube station, then changed his mind and caught a passing taxi.

Jenna meanwhile, having finished her packing, was ready to leave after lunch. She'd spoken to Steven Moffat, and agreed that the _Doctor Who_ office would put out a press statement denying the allegations. It was too early to ring Richard, so she planned to call him once she arrived in Cardiff, and hoped she could speak to him before he had a chance to see the story himself. Having press and photographers trailing her as she loaded her car was _really_ annoying and intrusive. Jenna blanked the questions completely, packing for filming was stressful enough without having her every movement being analysed and photographed.

It was a great relief when she's finished loading the car, and was able to drive off. Once she got onto the motorway, her mind started to wander, about Matt, about Richard, about Peter Capaldi, about filming with a new Doctor, about quiet nights in Cardiff by herself, about…

HONK!

She suddenly realised that her car had started wandering into another lane, correcting this she realised that she HAD to forget about her internal turmoil before something terrible happened. A bit of music might help, then she thought back to the time Matt had laughed at her music taste. STOP! Concentrate girl, she scalded herself.

Singing along to _Mumford and Sons_ did cheer Jenna up though, and rest of the journey passed uneventfully. Crossing the Severn Bridge into Wales brought back happy memories of past filming, and having seen the scripts for Series 8, she was genuinely excited about what they were about to film. Once she arrived at her flat she sent Matt a text.

_Got to Wales, and only nearly crashed once! Break a Leg Jen X_

Matt had performed to a satisfactory level on stage that afternoon, but he knew that it wasn't one of his best performances. Thankfully nobody else seemed to notice. The text from Jenna cheered him up though, and he was back to his usual self in the evening performance.

After texting Matt, Jenna next had to make the call she had been dreading, the one to Richard. She waited until 5pm to make the call, 9am LA time seemed reasonable. Richard answered immediately.

"Hey babes, nice to hear from you, missing me already!"

"Richard, er there's been a bit of a story in the tabloids."

"What's up?"

"It's the _Daily Mirror_, they've printed a ridiculous story about myself and Matt, all based on a few photos somebody took of us on Thursday, after you left us."

"They'll print any old rubbish to sell papers!"

"Yes, well you know how Matt is; he's always been a very tactile person."

"Oh yes, he's always hugging me for a start."

"Well the photos are like that really, the way he normally behaves with friends. I just thought I'd let you know first, in case anyone says anything narky to you."

"Well, er thanks for letting me know. Have you got to Cardiff yet?"

"Just arrived."

"Well, enjoy filming on Monday and give Peter my regards. Just off to see my personal trainer now, you know what it's like out here."

"No rest for the wicked eh! I'd better let you go then, bye love!"

"Bye."

After the call, Richard quickly checked out the _Daily Mirror_ website. The article wasn't hard to find, and yes there were the expected photos of Matt being Matt, arms around Jenna, all very tactile and flailing arms as usual. And he knew that they'd only shared a taxi because they lived near each other. But there was something about the look on Jenna's face, that made him wonder, clearly she was very fond of Matt, but was it any more than that?

On Monday, it was an apprehensive Jenna that arrived at the Roath Lock BBC studios, thankfully without any celebrity journalists waiting to ambush her. Jenna was desperately worried about not being able to perform with Peter in the same way she had with Matt, of letting everyone down, of being the weak link. Peter had probably sensed this as well, so was especially ebullient as he greeted Jenna.

"Great to see you Jenna, I'm so looking forward to acting with you! You're the expert on the show, so feel free to tell me what to do."

"Thanks" replied Jenna, trying to appear cheerful and confident. "I'm the boss!"

Naturally, nobody mentioned the _Daily Mirror_ article in front of her, though behind the scenes everyone was talking about it…

The next day, the BBC issued a first photo of Peter and Jenna together, which was distributed all over the media. Seeing this, Matt couldn't resist sending Jenna a message, which made her laugh.

_OMG, somebody has stolen my clothes! Tell your new Doctor to get his own._

As filming progressed over the next couple of weeks, Steven Moffat could see something was wrong, Jenna's performances were listless, there was none of the bounce she had showed in her previous episodes, and her eyes looked sad. One day at the end of filming, when all the cast had gone home, he mentioned this to the floor manager.

"Gary, I'm worried about Jenna. She's just not right, the sparkle in her eyes seems to have vanished, it's as if her mind is elsewhere. You don't think she's still missing Matt do you?"

"I think she is Steven, and yes her performances are a bit lacking in something."

"At the moment it doesn't matter too much, as in these early episodes Clara is pining for Matt's Doctor, so she needs to be a bit glum and sombre on screen, but later on in the filming, I will need her and Peter to be a close as she was with Matt. I will need the old Clara back!"

"I'll give Matt a call, see what he thinks. I know he still cares for both Jenna and the show."

"You don't think there's something more going on than just one actor finding it hard to adapt to acting with someone else?"

"It's possible. Maybe we should ask the _Daily Mirror_!"

"Very funny." And Gary was rewarded with a Moffat glare…

The next morning, floor manager Gary phoned Matt about their concerns.

"Matt, we're a bit worried about Jenna. She's not been her usual self since, well, since you left. I think she misses you."

Matt feared as much. He'd missed Jenna terribly as well, but as he was acting with new people, it wasn't so obvious to them. And thankfully the press had got bored as well, and weren't following him around now.

"I see. I'd love to come over, but I'm performing every day until the 1st February. And I'm not sure what Peter would think if I barged in on set in the middle of filming."

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind, he and Jenna have been getting on fine, I think it's er something more personal."

"It's just that, I could imagine how I would have reacted if during my first month of filming, David had walked in onto the set, all charisma and confidence, and everybody's friend, I would have felt like an imposter. And how would Jenna feel, if her bosses felt she needed someone to come and help her, it would make her feel like a little girl, needing her hand held."

"Fair point mate. How about you coming down to Cardiff for a social occasion?"

"Are you trying to pair us off or something!" Matt laughed down the phone.

"No no, I just think she'd appreciate a visit from you."

"Sure, I'd need a reason though. I can hardly pop down to Cardiff just on the off chance."

"Well, my 50th birthday is on the 4th February, how about a birthday celebration for me on, say Friday 7th. I wasn't going to do anything, but could make an exception this year."

"You're good! I don't want to put you out or anything. But it would be fun to meet the old crowd. And Peter as well." He desperately wanted to see Jenna again, though didn't say anything.

"That's no problem. Besides, this way I can get the BBC to pay for my evening out. Or failing that, it can come from Moffat's bulging wallet!"

"I take it you'll run it past Jenna first, to see she's ok with it."

"Will do mate, speak to you soon."

Later that day Gary had a private word with Jenna.

"Jenna, I don't know if you're interested, but I'm thinking of having a little celebration for my 50th birthday on the 7th February."

"That's nice" Jenna replied unenthusiastically.

"Matt might be coming."

"Really!" Jenna replied brightly, then realising how transparent she sounded, toned her voice down.

"I, er think I'm free that evening. It would be nice for him to discuss Doctorly things with Peter, and meet the old crew again" she continued, trying to not to sound too excited.

"Great, I'll let you know the arrangements when they're sorted."

Later that day, Gary texted Matt.

_All on for the 7__th__. Peter, Moff, Jenna, most of the crew, should be a good evening_

Reading this just before going on stage, Matt did a mini punch to the air, then seeing the quizzical looks from the rest of the cast, had to concoct an explanation

"It's my team Blackburn Rovers, they've er just signed a new defender" he beamed to them.

* * *

**I managed to slip in a quick reference to the publicity photo of Peter and Jenna the BBC issued yesterday, but from now on I'm running ahead of reality! The next chapter will no doubt cover the Gary's 50th birthday celebrations, parties and evenings in bars do feature regularly in my stories it seems!**


	6. Gary's Birthday Party

**Thanks for all the reviews, they are much appreciated. It's Gary's 50th birthday party, hoorah!**

* * *

The next day Jenna bounced into the studios, and was far more positive. There was a real spark to her performance, which reminded everyone of the performances she had given with Matt. Peter Capaldi was delighted, and so was Steven Moffat.

"I owe you a pint" smiled Steven to Gary the floor manager.

"You owe me an evening on the beer mate!"

"OK, we'll put some money behind the bar for your 50th birthday. Just don't let the _Daily Mail_ know, or else they'll be demanding cuts in the licence fee again!"

It was ridiculous, thought Jenna as she lay in a nice herbal bath that evening, how the thought of seeing Matt in a couple of weeks' time had cheered her up so much. After all, he was only, to be blunt, a former work colleague, and it wasn't as if there was anything going on between the two of them. But it would be nice to see him again…

* * *

Matt was equally buoyed by the thought of returning to Cardiff, though as the days passed, the grind of performing in _American Psycho_ every day was starting to get him down. It wasn't because he didn't like the show, as he enjoyed it very much, and was proud of his performance, but he was starting to miss the variety of a show like _Doctor Who_, where each episode would be so different, and each day's filming would be new and exciting. Him and Jenna taking on the world…

Once _American Psycho_ finished, he also had to consider his future, as he was now one of many unemployed actors, something he hadn't had to worry about since 2009. After a week of relative inactivity, he was really looking forward to getting out of London and seeing old familiar faces again, so was in very good spirits as he caught the train to Cardiff.

There his mind started wandering. However much he tried to persuade himself he was there to see Moff and Gary and all the rest of the cast and crew, he knew there was one person he really wanted to see. He couldn't stop thinking about her, he loved to see her warm smile and sparkling eyes, and the thought of her being sad and alone in Cardiff really upset him. But how did Jenna feel about him? Clearly she was fond of him, but was it any more than that? After all, she did have a boyfriend, Richard, a great guy and a bit of a hunk too. Maybe he, Matt Smith, was just her best friend, which was great, but at that moment he had to admit to himself that his feelings for her were more than that. He had to admit that he really was in love with…

"Wow!" exclaimed a young voice, "It's the Doctor. Brilliant!"

Matt looked up and it was a young boy.

"Sorry about that" spoke an adult that Matt assumed was the boy's mother, "But Harry is a massive fan of the show. Would you mind signing this for him?"

"That's no problem at all. _To Harry from the Doctor, Matt Smith_. Of course, I'm not the Doctor any more. There's a new Doctor now."

"You'll always be the Doctor to me" replied Harry.

* * *

Gary had hired the function room at a pub near to the Roath Lock studios in Cardiff. It was a common haunt for BBC staff to frequent, so the staff were used to seeing the stars of _Doctor Who_ and _Casualty_ there. The return of Matt Smith ensured a very full turnout, even if Gary tried to suggest there were all there just to celebrate his 50th birthday!

Jenna decided to play it cool; the last thing she wanted was to be waiting at the door for Matt to arrive, to look like she was desperate. She was also worried about what her initial reaction might be like…

She was in a far corner of the room when Matt arrived, to a massive whoop of approval from everyone. Matt was overwhelmed by the warmth and love for him, and had to wipe away a tear. Soon he was circulating the room very slowly. VERY SLOWLY as everyone wanted to talk to him and reminisce about their time together, making Jenna slightly regret her positioning. While talking to Catrin Stewart she glimpsed across and saw Matt embracing Peter Capaldi.

"Well hello Doctor!" exclaimed Matt.

"Oh, I don't feel like I'm the Doctor yet. At the moment, I can't help thinking I'm just a stand in, and the real Doctor will come back and takeover. And here you are!"

"No, I'm gone for good. Moff killed me off. Looking back, I had the same feelings as you when I started, David was the Doctor, in some ways I still think he _is _the Doctor. And yet, on the train coming here, a little boy told me I'd always be _his_ Doctor; it makes you feel quite honoured really."

"I agree."

"Though to be fair, I can't blame him for being upset, he obviously knows how completely rubbish your Doctor will be!"

"Jenna warned me you'd be like this!"

Matt changed the tone of his voice.

"How's she been? "

"At first it was a bit of a struggle" Peter discreetly replied, "But these last two weeks have been much better. Steven has been really pleased with what we've done, Jenna has been a lot livelier, you can see the sparkle in her eyes now."

"I'm really glad to hear that, you form some pretty solid relationships on this show. Being here in Cardiff for so much of the year beings everyone together, Jen and I had some really good times."

Matt looked over and his eyes met with Jenna's for a brief moment.

"But then this bloke stuck me on a planet for 600 years, and made me die of old age! How are you Moff!"

"Good to see you again Matthew. I see you've met the Doctor. Scottish, mature, a bit fiery, not bad looking, it's the next best thing to casting myself!"

"Love Sherlock by the way. Even if you rejected my application to be Watson all those years ago."

"I couldn't imagine you as Watson" pondered Peter. "It would have been Holmes and Holmes!"

"And I think I found a better role for you" replied Steven with a smile. "It was a great four years we had, but I'm really looking forward to this series, each new Doctor brings out a different aspect of the character, and having someone like Peter will really push the show in a new direction. "

"I'm really looking forward to seeing Peter and Jenna on screen together. Got some good stories lined up?"

"Oh yes, though of course I can't tell you _anything_ about them now, you'll just have to wait until August!"

"Don't worry; I'll just get Peter drunk tonight so he spills the beans to me!"

"You don't stand a chance" replied Peter, "I'm from Glasgow!"

In the corner Jenna watched glumly as Matt moved from person to person. The CGI boffins, a couple of cameramen, oh and now Mark Gatiss has turned up, that'll be another twenty minutes. How silly it was to think he'd come all this way especially to see her, of course he wanted to see everyone here, it was his show after all, she was just a new girl. And yet, the thought of her Matty returning had really given her a boost, and soon he would be gone, without even talking to her. Sensing her eyes getting moist, she turned around so as not to embarrass herself further.

"Hello stranger."

She felt a familiar hand on her shoulder, turned and there he was.

"I'm so sorry, I've been trying to get over here for hours, but couldn't escape. It's nice being popular, but tonight was a bit much! I've really missed you Jenna."

"I've missed you too Matty" she whimpered, tears trickling down her cheeks, as they embraced. "Peter has been lovely, but it's been so hard. Peter's great, the cast and crew are great so why have I struggled to adapt so much?"

"Don't worry, I was really upset when Karen and Arthur left the show, but then you came along and made things good again."

Matt stroked Jenna's hair, how she had missed his touch.

"I hear things have been much better these last two weeks."

"Yes, they have been better." Jenna didn't want to add that this was only because of the prospect of seeing Matt again…

"Well think of me, night after night in that poky dressing room in the Almeida Theatre, wondering what exciting things Peter's Doctor had been doing with my Jenna, sorry my Clara. I really want you and Peter to smash it, to make an even better show than we did together."

Matt was determined to cheer Jenna up, to keep her positive. It would also help him get over his feelings of loss.

"Thank you. You've been so good to me. I don't know how I'll cope when you're gone."

This was tearing at Matt's heart.

"Time gentlemen please, last orders at the bar" came the cry from the Pub Landlord. Cardiff opening hours were a lot shorter than London's.

"Oh god, is it closing time already?" continued Jenna. "Maybe we can go on somewhere, find a bar perhaps if you're interested?"

"I'd love to" replied Matt. "It might be risky though, one photo of us together, and we'd be all over the papers again."

"I see. Well, er, we could always go back to my flat. I've got no beer, but there's a bottle of wine in the fridge."

"If that's ok with you, I mean I don't want to put you out. That would be great."

"I guess we'd better take separate taxis. Don't want any more rumours going around the set…"

Matt and Jenna thus said their goodbyes outside the pub, before getting into separate taxis. The remaining people in the pub were slightly surprised by this, but Matt explained that he was tired after a long day, that he was going back to his hotel, but would meet Jenna for lunch the next day, which seemed to satisfy everyone.

In reality, his taxi was heading for Jenna's flat, and arrived there five minutes after she got home.

* * *

**A tantalising place to end, but don't worry the next chapter won't be too far off, as this is all building up to a key plot development...**


	7. Jenna's sofa

**The story continues after Jenna and Matt have left Gary's birthday drinks to go back to her flat (in separate taxis)...**

**The whole chapter is Matt and Jenna together.**

* * *

Matt Smith walked up to Jenna's flat and rang the doorbell, which she answered.

"Clara. Clara Oswin Oswald. Do you remember me?"

"Ha ha, very funny. Get inside, Matt, before the neighbours wonder who the idiot is!"

Matt entered Jenna's flat.

"You know where everything is, make yourself at home."

Matt had been to Jenna's flat plenty of times, they had previously rehearsed scripts and relaxed together in between filming, as his flat had been only been a short walk away. He took his shoes off and slumped down on the sofa.

"There's red wine in the kitchen, or Chardonnay in the fridge, I always keep a bottle of wine there."

Matt looked at Jenna with raised eyebrows and a smile.

"Less of that Smith, I don't come home every evening, and drown my sorrows with a glass or three of wine and a romantic movie." Not every night anyway.

"Red will be fine, thanks."

Jenna brought a bottle of Merlot out of the kitchen and a packet of Jammie Dodgers.

"I had these in the cupboard, for old times' sake and all that."

"Great, I grew quite partial to these during my time on the show."

Jenna poured two generous glasses of wine, and emptied the biscuits onto a plate.

"This brings back memories of us going through scripts and watching films together. Where does Peter live?"

"He has a larger place, a house, about a mile away. It's so his wife and daughter can stay with him from time to time."

"I used to enjoy coming around here. I think your sofa's more comfy than mine."

"It's nice to know my sofa was appreciated!"

"Ok, I might have enjoyed the company as well."

Matt looked across at Jenna and smiled. He was happy to see a bit of sparkle in her eyes as he gazed into them. Those evenings on her sofa, reading through scripts, chatting or just watching tv or movies together were a happy memory for both of them.

"Did you do the same when Karen and Arthur were on the show?"

"Yes, we used to hang around a lot, in many ways we grew up together."

"Matt, how did you feel when they left the show?"

"Oh it was very sad, we'd been together for so long, it was the end of the gang. Karen especially, she and I spent so much time with each other."

"Did you miss Karen more than you miss me?"

Matt smiled.

"What sort of a question is that? Obviously I missed her more! I mean, fiery redhead with legs up to here, who wouldn't miss that."

He then poked Jenna on the nose.

"Ooh the look on your face, I've missed the pout. You asked for that! Of course I missed Karen when she left, but I've also missed you since I left. A lot. Even more than I missed Karen, happy now you silly sod!"

Matt smiled at Jenna who smiled back.

"The cast and crew of American Psycho were great to work with, cool people, but it wasn't the same as our year together. We had something special between us didn't we, and that's as soppy as I'm getting Coleman!"

Matt put his arm around Jenna and gave her an affectionate hug. He then continued.

"So how has filming _really_ been, this series?"

"It's been really hard, and I've felt really guilty about it. Peter has the role he's always dreamed about, and he finds himself stuck with a miserable co-star. I'm an actor, I should be able to show on screen all sorts of feelings, yet all I've shown is how I've really felt."

"Things have been better though these last two weeks, haven't they?"

"A bit, but I fear that it might have been a blip."

"Why's that?"

There was no way that Jenna could confess that her temporary boost was due to the thought of seeing Matt again.

"I don't know, my mind just isn't right at the moment. We have two more weeks in this filming block, then I have a week off. It'll be good to be back in London again."

"You always used to really enjoy being in Cardiff before."

"Well that's because I was with y…" Jenna stopped herself just in time. "I was in a different filming environment."

"So how long are you going to stay on the show?"

"Steven needs an answer by the end of March. If I don't want to stay for Series 9, he'll write Clara out at Christmas. I think he likes making people cry on Christmas Day!"

"And what do you think you'll do?"

"The way I've been this series, I can't see myself staying on. I'll think he'll be glad to get shot of me to be honest."

"Don't be silly."

"Well, it's the truth. Maybe I'll go out to the US and hang around with Richard for a bit, I don't know. This series will hardly be good for my future employment prospects, once everyone learns what a misery guts I've been."

"Well I'll just have to keep cheering you up then. Keep you brilliant."

"Thanks, but you have your own life to live. What about your future, got any new roles lined up?"

"I don't know, there have been a few discussions, but nothing concrete so far."

"Off to Hollywood?"

"Maybe, the odd movie would be great, but I don't know if I could live out there, away from my friends and family."

Matt gave Jenna a tighter squeeze.

"You know Matt, I think I might just lock you in my flat, refuse to let you go home, nobody will miss you back in London for a few weeks."

"I think they _might_ just notice I'm not there."

"Well I'll tell everyone you've gone backpacking in Tibet or Bhutan, and need to get away to reinvigorate your soul."

"Then they'll _definitely_ know you're lying!"

"All right, I'll tell them you're in Cardiff secretly filming for Series 8. A fiendishly clever plot, in which after the Doctor is given a new set of regenerations, the last of his old bodies doesn't disappear, but lives alongside the first one of his new versions."

"You've been reading too much Fanfiction!"

Jenna laughed.

"Fancy being a Dalek? You'd be a bit tall to play a Sontaran."

"I can just imagine Moff's reaction when you suggest to him writing me back into the show! There's a side of me that wishes I'd never left, but all good things have to end sometime, and there's no turning back now; I'm sorry Jen, but it's over."

Jenna's smile disappeared.

"My time on the show that is."

Matt kissed Jenna on the cheek.

"But I'll always be here for you. Not always here in Cardiff, but ever you need someone to talk to, please don't hesitate."

"Thanks."

Jenna hugged Matt.

"Ooh, better get us another bottle."

Matt and Jenna talked effortlessly into the early hours, the conversation never dying. It was only when Jenna tried to unsuccessfully stifle a yawn, that they realised how late it was. Matt checked his watch.

"Oh god, is that the time, I must be getting back to my hotel."

Jenna turned to him, and gently placed one hand on his face, as she gazed longingly into his eyes.

"Please don't go, please stay the night with me."

Matt looked at Jenna, and wondered what emotion those big eyes were actually expressing. She looked so beautiful; he wanted to hold her, to caress her, to…

"Ok, er thanks. This sofa looks quite comfy, probably a bit late to get back to my hotel now."

"I'll get a blanket."

Jenna tried to hide her disappointment as she fetched a blanket. She then whimpered "Goodnight" gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, and hurried off, leaving a slightly puzzled Matt behind. In bed, vivid thoughts went through her mind. Had Matt interpreted her words entirely innocently, or had he rejected her? Was he horrified that she had wanted something that he wasn't interested in, what must he think? Maybe he would be frightened off coming back, maybe he would tell Richard. No he wouldn't do that, but Richard, oh god…and with these confused thoughts, tears trickled down her cheeks, as she lay awake in her lonely bed.

Downstairs, Matt was completely confused. Jenna was obviously just suggesting he could sleep on the sofa, she doesn't have those sort of feelings for him. Or does she? Surely not, not when she had Richard, maybe it was too much wine. Matt thanked himself to not taking advantage of Jenna's drunkenness, it was too good a friendship to jeopardise. They'd be able to laugh it off in the morning.

The next morning, Jenna opened the living room door to see Matt sprawled out on the floor. Despite her lack of sleep, it was an amusing sight which brought a smile to her face. _Serves you right for wanting to sleep on the sofa_, she thought to herself as she put the kettle on. The noise of her making tea woke Matt up from his light sleep, and he dragged his aching bones upright and wandered over to the kitchen.

"That sofa wasn't as comfy as I thought, so I er slept on the floor."

"I noticed. Toast ok?"

"That would be great."

He yawned.

"The funny thing is that I need to check out of my hotel in an hour's time. Being charged for a second night, when I've actually spent about ten minutes there would be a bit unfortunate!"

"I'll drop you off after breakfast. I'm sure they won't charge you extra, after all everyone in Cardiff loves Doctor Who!"

After breakfast Jenna drove Matt into town.

"I'm in the Marriott, next to the railway station."

"Probably best if I drop you off round the corner, it might attract attention if I stop right outside the hotel!"

Jenna parked on a quiet side street.

"It's quite amusing really. When people are having an illicit affair, they spend all their time trying to disguise their activities, to prevent people finding out what they've been doing."

"Whereas we've been going through this whole rigmarole…"

Matt and Jenna moved closer, as he prepared to say goodbye.

"And we're not even having an…"

And then it happened, their faces came together and they kissed. This was no quick peck on the cheeks, this was a passionate kiss on the lips that seemed to last for ever, as the desire that had been buried inside finally came out. Neither wanted to let go.

"...affair."

Matt left the car, and waved back at Jenna, a stunned look on his face, while Jenna was equally shocked.

What had they done?

* * *

**I like to tease, but clearly something pretty important has happened here!**

**All reviews gratefully received.**


	8. Richard

**Many thanks for the reviews, they are much appreciated. I thought many of you would like the conclusion to the previous chapter :-)**

**Another emotional chapter follows...**

* * *

Matt was stunned at what had happened, but had little time to think about the consequences as he rushed back to his hotel room, where he had a quick wash and changed his clothes before checking out. Thus it wasn't until he was sat down on the train back to London that he had time to reflect on the events of the last 12 hours.

Jenna was also in an emotional whirl; her answer was a nice relaxing bath to think things over. She kept worrying about what this meant for her relationship with Richard, and how she could survive on the show without Matt around again, but she found it hard to be glum for very long, as the memory of that kiss would always bring a smile back to her face. It had been unplanned and spontaneous, not something either had carefully thought about beforehand, and hence was surely a true reflection of their feelings for each other? Matty had kept that secret, the sly devil! And when he chose to sleep on the sofa, maybe he was being a gentleman. Or was he thinking of his friend Richard? Or maybe he was acting like Clara, and denying it to protect himself and protect her? The trick is, don't fall in love…

On the train, Matt wondered where that left things between them, especially as neither had spoken since that kiss. It was tricky knowing what to say, should he speak openly about his feelings, or just ignore what happened? Matt liked Richard, and thought him well matched to Jenna, so didn't want to do anything to spoil their relationship, especially if the kiss had been a one off between two emotional people, who maybe hadn't been thinking straight. The trick is, don't fall in love… but it was too late.

When Jenna got out of the bath, there was a text from Matt on her phone.

_Great to see you Jenna, look forward to seeing you again in London. Be brilliant! Matt_

She would be counting down the days until she saw him again, something to keep her spirits up. Buoyed, she put some washing in the machine then drove down to the supermarket to fill her empty fridge. And buy another packet of Jammie Dodgers, as somehow she found comfort in those silly biscuits, a link to the past. She had just finished carrying her shopping back into the flat when her phone rang. It was Richard.

"Hi babes, how are you!" she cheerfully answered.

"Good thanks, you sound happy."

"Aren't I always?"

"Not normally this happy." Indeed, though Richard didn't say so, she had been pretty sombre the last time he'd called. And the previous time…

"Yeah, well it was a good night yesterday. A birthday bash for the floor manager, everyone was there."

"Did Matt come back for it?"

"Er yes, Matt was there, which was nice" Jenna replied carefully.

That explains her good mood. Richard understood.

"That's good. The reason I was calling, is that I'll be back in London for a few days in two weeks' time, during your break from filming, so we'll be able to meet up. A good way to use up my air miles!"

"Excellent, I'll look forward to it."

"Must dash, got a breakfast meeting with my agent. Talk to you soon. Bye love."

"Bye babes."

In his car, Richard thought about their brief conversation. Matt again. Richard was sure nothing was going on behind his back, but couldn't help but wonder at how happy Jenna always seemed to be when she was with Matt. Of course Matt was a nice bloke, but was there something more to it than that? The _Daily Mirror_ had certainly thought so.

Later that day, his mind was racked with anguish. Trying to keep up a relationship when he and Jenna were physically so far apart was never going to be easy, maybe it was time to accept that it would never work. Richard still loved Jenna, but above all wanted her to be happy, and if somebody else would make her happier, then maybe he should step aside. And there seemingly was an obvious person for Jenna, but was this the case, as Richard had no idea about Matt's true feelings? And how could he tell her: the thought of telling her, and Jenna breaking down distraught was not one he relished. If he had found someone else, in some ways it would be a lot easier, as he, Richard, would then clearly be the 'guilty' party, but this situation was a lot more complicated than that.

It would be fairest, he decided, that _if_ he was to tell her, then he would do it in her flat, rather than in public or in his flat; at least that way she wouldn't have to return home in an upset state, and would have her flatmates to support her. But could he bring himself to tell her? And indeed, was this the correct thing to do, as after all he still had strong feelings for her? There were two weeks before he was due to see her, two weeks which he would spend in mental turmoil, trying to decide what to do.

* * *

Jenna was full of energy on Monday, and gave a really lively performance for the camera, something that didn't go unnoticed.

"Do you reckon that something happened at the weekend after my 50th party?" pondered Gary. "I mean, we don't know what went on after Matt and Jenna left, and she does seem very happy today". Gary smiled.

"Less of the gossiping Gary" laughed Steven Moffat. "I'm just happy we've got the real Jenna Coleman back."

* * *

The next weekend, Matt was playing around on the internet when he came across some _Doctor Who_ filming photos, taken on Friday. He recognised the location, Margam Country Park, which they'd used for _Hide_ and other previous episodes, the programme liked to reuse favoured locations! Of more interest to him was the smile on Jenna's face. She and Peter seemed to be having a great time together, which was lovely to see, and he desperately wanted to know that Jenna was as happy as she appeared to be.

Jenna was in the supermarket when her phone rang.

"Hey Matt, great to hear from you. Just in the supermarket, one moment while I park the trolley to one side."

"Sorry to bother you Jenna. You weren't buying avocados were you?"

"Ever since I mentioned that story, about how I was shopping for avocados when I was offered the role of Clara, the whole world now thinks I eat nothing but avocados! I do eat other vegetables as well."

"They're fruits by the way."

"And to think I was actually missing this, I don't get any of this lip on set now, Peter's _much_ nicer than you, and treats me with the respect I deserve" Jenna laughed.

"I actually didn't ring to check out the contents of your supermarket trolley, funnily enough. I noticed that you'd been filming in Margam Country Park, and that you and Peter seemed to be having a good time together"

"Yes, it's been a great week, we've filmed some really good scenes between us, and I seem to have turned a corner. Thanks, I couldn't have done it without your encouragement."

"Oh, that's nothing, I'm really really glad filming is going so well. I'll leave you to your shopping, I'd be gutted if someone took the last avocado when your back was turned. Bye!"

"Bye Matt." Jenna sighed then returned to her shopping. This time she passed on the avocados, as if to prove Matt wrong. Then changed her mind…

* * *

A week later Jenna was back in London, it was great to meet up with her flatmates again. She had arranged to see Richard on Sunday, she was slightly surprised that Richard wanted to see her at her place, rather than his place or one of the nice cafes around Primrose Hill, but suspected nothing. When Richard came round, she thought he looked nervous.

"Jenna, hi love, great to see you again."

"Babes, great to see you too. Take a seat, while I grab us a drink. Tea, coffee or something stronger?"

"Er, Jenna, I've got something to say to you, which is quite er private, is anyone else in?"

"No, they're all in the pub, _The Engineer_ I think. I live with a bunch of alkies!"

"Oh, er good. Jenna I've been thinking."

Jenna's smile vanished.

"Jen, we've being going out for nearly three years now, but it's been difficult, as I'm never around these days, and I expect to be in the US for another two years at least. I'm starting to wonder if this is fair on you, on us."

"No Richard, it's fine" Jenna replied, a look of concern on her face.

"I still love you Jenna, you're beautiful and a lovely person, but maybe, just maybe, I'm not meant to be the one for you, the special person for you."

"No, no!"

"Jenna, I hope we can remain friends. Please think about it, as there may just be someone else in your life, someone else who can make you happy, who can be there for you, and give you the love and affection that I am unable to do."

"But Richard, why?" Jenna wailed, her eyes welling up with tears. "Why now, what's changed?"

"Maybe, it's the realisation that someone else in your life can make you happier than I can. Jenna, I only want what's best for you, I don't want you to miss out on something because you're worried about my feelings. I know how tricky it's been for you these last few months, I will always be there for you, but you need to follow your feelings."

The two of them embraced, tears also in Richard's eyes. Jenna's mind was in too much turmoil to comprehend what Richard was truly saying, all she knew was that she had been dumped, however nicely Richard had put it.

"Oh Richard."

"I'm sorry Jen, but I think it's for the best. Perhaps we can meet up later this week when you've had a chance to think things over. If you want, of course. "

"Er ok", but Jenna was in a daze and wasn't listening.

"I've been dreading this conversation, I'm hating myself for what I've just said, but I hope it's for the best, for both of us. Er, I'll be off then. Bye, and I'm really sorry again."

The crestfallen Jenna sadly waved at Richard as he walked to the door.

After Richard let himself out, he sent a text to Matt

_Matt, sorry mate, but can you pop round to Jenna's urgently, I'm afraid it's over between us. I think she needs you to help pull her through. Richard._

Back inside, Jenna curled up in a ball on the floor and cried her eyes out, wails of anguish and pain.

* * *

**Poor Jenna, put through the wringer again. **


	9. He gave you up

**The previous chapter finished with Richard telling a distraught Jenna that he was ending their relationship...**

* * *

Matt had planned a nice quiet Sunday. He'd watch the football first, and then call Jenna later on. He knew she'd be busy her first weekend back in London, and they had all week to catch up. Thus, he was slouched on his sofa watching the football (a fairly dull game with no goals) when he received the text from Richard.

_Matt mate, can you pop round to Jenna's, I'm afraid it's over between us. I think she needs you to help pull her through. Richard._

To put it mildly he was astonished. After staring at the message in disbelief for five minutes, he called Richard.

"Richard mate, got your text, you're kidding aren't you?"

"Oh, er hello Matt, it's true, I've just told her it's over between us."

"YOU DID WHAT? But, but why? I mean, you always look so happy together."

"That's basically the problem, we're never together. With me being in the States all the time, we never see each other, and it's not going to get any better. It's not fair on her."

"But surely you could have worked something out, Jenna seemed quite happy to continue as it was?"

"It was a hard decision, as I still love her and Jenna's a wonderful person. However, there is another reason, as there's someone else."

"THERE'S SOMEONE ELSE?"

"No, not someone else, like that, but there's somebody who makes Jenna so, so happy, and with me being around in the background, he would never be able to take the next step. Someone who can be there for her, to give her the attention and love she deserves."

"Who's this person?"

"Oh really Matt, you are slow at times. Go to her, she needs you to comfort her, I felt horrible doing what I did, but it's for Jenna's own good and her future happiness. She needs you now."

Matt's mind was completely in a blur.

"But, but why do you think she needs _me_?"

"It's obvious, the way she's always so happy when she's with you, and when she's talking about you. I spoke to her that weekend you'd been to Cardiff, and she was transformed from the sad person I'd spoken to in the weeks before. Those _Daily Mirror_ photos, I recognise that look on her face, that's not a look of friendship. And you looked pretty besotted too; you used to be like that when you first started going out with Daisy."

"I can ensure you that nothing's happened between us."

"Don't worry mate, I know you too well, you'd never make a move because of me. You've always been very straight."

"I guess I'd better be off to Jenna's then. Does she know you've told me?"

"No. Good luck mate."

"Thanks."

Matt grabbed his coat and hurried out of his flat.

The first person to arrive after Richard left was Rebecca, one of her flatmates, who'd returned earlier than the others. She was horrified to see Jenna curled up in a ball on the floor, completely distraught.

"Jen, what happened?"

"It's Richard, he's dumped me" she wailed.

Rebecca immediately got down and hugged her.

"But why?"

"He gave me some nonsense about us never being together, and how someone else could make me happy, then he left me" she cried out. "I thought he loved me."

At that moment Matt rang the doorbell, which Rebecca answered.

"Oh hello Matt, come in. Jenna's in a bad way, Richard's left her."

"I know, he told me."

"You know!" Jenna cried out, "Has he been planning this with you for weeks? Are you here to help him do the dirty work?"

"No, he just told me and I'm here to help."

"I presume he told you the real reason why he dumped me, how I'm a horrible, ugly person that you shouldn't touch with a barge pole." Jenna burst into tears again.

"No, no, he still loves you. He didn't dump you, he gave you up."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Due to his work in America, he's never here for you, and he wanted you to have a proper relationship, with someone who'll be here for you, who can give you the love and affection you deserve."

"I'll be in my room" interjected Rebecca, who exited to give Jenna and Matt space.

"But who would want me?" continued Jenna. "You know how much of a pain I've been in filming this year, that's the real me."

"Jenna" replied Matt who had sat down on the floor next to Jenna, "I know the real you, and the one I know is beautiful and a wonderful person that I, that I'm completely besotted by." Matt took Jenna's hands and held them tight.

"Matt, you really feel that way?"

Jenna's eyes came alive, as Matt starting admitting the feelings she'd always dreamed he might have.

"Yes. I've always stepped back from the edge, as I knew you and Richard had something really good together and I didn't want to spoil our friendship and working relationship by making a false move. The BBC wouldn't have been impressed either!"

"Matt, I've always wondered, I mean the way you look at me, it's special, so special."

"And these last few months away from you have been really hard, knowing that I left you behind in Cardiff. It's been so hard, I look forward so much to the moments we can spend together, yet each time it's such a battle, trying to prevent my feelings coming out. Do you think I really wanted to sleep on the sofa that night?" Matt smiled, as he put an arm around Jenna.

"That time I'd wondered if I'd offended you, that I'd misread your mind, that you didn't feel the same way about me that I feel about you. I cried so much that night, and was ready to sink back into my malaise. But then that kiss in the car, that kiss has kept me going these last two weeks."

"I guess I let my guard down that moment!"

"Well, you've no need to keep your feelings in any longer."

And with that they kissed passionately, the two of them ending up in an intimate embrace on the floor.

At that moment Rebecca opened her bedroom door and stuck her head through it.

"Just checking you're all…right". She then smiled when she saw the two of them, and shut the door again.

"Oh Matt, what does this mean for us."

"I don't know, but whatever happens, I will never leave you again."

"But what about your career?"

"I might take the odd role in the US, but I'll never go out there for good, unless you're with me." Matt hugged Jenna who beamed back.

"There is one thing though" Matt continued, as a look of concern appeared on Jenna's face.

"What is it Matty?"

"Can we get up from the floor, as it's killing my bad knee!"

"You're going nowhere matey!" Jenna laughed as she lunged at Matt, and the two ended up in a crumpled, giggling heap.

At that moment, Jenna's other two flatmates returned from the pub.

"It's not what you think" stammered a nervous Matt.

"Yes it is" cried out Jenna, as she kissed Matt.

"Ok, yes it is" laughed Matt.

Rebecca came back from her bedroom.

"Jane, Emma, meet Matthew, Jenna's new boyfriend!"

* * *

**I trust most of you enjoyed the events of this chapter :-)**

**You may recognise the "I/he gave you up" line from Asylum of the Daleks, it was too good not to use again!**

**Probably one chapter to go, as the story draws to a conclusion. ****All reviews gratefully received, thanks!**


	10. Reunited

**After the events of the last chapter, Matt and Jenna will never be the same again...**

* * *

One of the joys of living with true friends, was that Jenna knew she could trust them 100%. It made life so much easier having people she could tell the truth to, people she knew wouldn't sell her out to the newspapers for a quick buck. These were people who knew her when she wasn't famous, and who would still be her friends when her fame and fortune had faded away, and she was just another person who used to be on tv. She knew that day would come, but didn't mind; in her younger days, she'd had her moments of fame and 'lad mag' attention, but now she just wanted to have a happy life, hopefully getting enough challenging and enjoyable acting work to keep her busy and solvent. And to spend that life with the person who was sitting opposite her in the pub, Matt Smith.

After the events earlier that Sunday, in which she and Matt had finally opened their hearts to each other in Jenna's flat, the two of them had left to go for a celebratory drink. Primrose Hill, being a trendy area for actors and 'media types', seeing two well-known actors together didn't attract the sort of attention that they would have got elsewhere in London, but they avoided getting too affectionate with each other, as they didn't need any outside media interference putting pressure on them at such an early stage in their relationship. It was simply enjoyable to have a drink and spend time together without the sexual tension and suppressed feelings that had always been there before, and without the feeling of dread that existed when they parted and wondered when they would see each other again.

As it happened, they were spotted together that afternoon on the way to the pub, but this time the story in the _Daily Mail_ the next day would take a somewhat different line.

_Former Doctor Who colleagues Matt Smith and Jenna Coleman enjoy time together, as they reminisce over old times. Jenna, who is currently filming Series 8 of the long running show alongside new Doctor Peter Capaldi was, as ever, dressed very stylishly, in a navy ¾ length coat, with matching shoes. Matt Smith, who is currently taking a well-earned break, is expected to depart for the US soon, so may have been hoping to get tips from Jenna whose boyfriend, former Game of Thrones star Richard Madden is based out there._

The _Daily Mail_ might have taken a different line if they'd known where Matt and Jenna were headed afterwards, and about the ending of Jenna and Richard's relationship. Having been on their best behaviour when outside, as soon as the door of Matt's flat had shut behind them, they were all over each other on the sofa. After several minutes of caressing and passionate kissing, it was Matt who spoke first.

"It looks like it's your turn to sleep on the sofa tonight."

"Eh? Why would I…" then she saw Matt smile, and punched him on the arm.

"Ow. Unless, you might like to sleep somewhere else…"

They kissed again. Matt then gently picked Jenna up and carried her towards the bedroom…

* * *

The next morning was a lovely day, the sun shining through a gap in Matt's bedroom curtains, so Matt turned his head to avoid the rays. It also enabled him to study Jenna's beautiful face again, as she lay asleep next to him. She looked so calm and peaceful, and Matt hoped that inside she was also at peace, that the turmoil and pain of the last few months was over. He knew that work commitments would mean that sometimes they would be apart, an occupational hazard for actors working on different productions, but he had every intention of spending as much time with her as he could. He tenderly kissed her on the forehead, which woke her up. Jenna dreamily opened her eyes to see Matt gazing back at her, and everything was good in the world.

After breakfast, Jenna returned home to her own flat. Her flatmates had all gone to work, so it was empty, which she didn't mind, as she needed space to think. The first thing she did was text Richard.

_Richard, I now appreciate why you did what you did yesterday, thank you. Touch wood, Matt and I can make it together. I hope we can stay friends, I will always treasure the time we spent together, you're the best. Jen_

Richard smiled weakly when he received the message, it was a relief that things were working out well for Jenna, and that his sacrifice hadn't been in vain, but deep down he still felt sad about letting Jenna go. He remembered all the good times they'd spent together in their early days, and hoped Matt and Jenna's relationship wouldn't go the same way, with work pressures driving them apart.

Richard met up with Matt and Jenna later that week, it was a strange atmosphere, as on all previous occasions, Richard and Jenna would have been sat together, and holding hands, whereas this time Matt and Jenna sat together on Matt's sofa, with Richard in a separate armchair, though out of respect for him, they stayed demurely apart. Both wished Richard well, he was due to fly back to LA the next day. As for Matt, while he had offers from the US, he made it clear that for the foreseeable future he would be staying in the UK.

The following weekend, Jenna drove back to Cardiff. After a lovely week, it was sad to return to her cold, empty flat, and not see his gangly body sprawled out on the sofa. Matt had promised to come up to Cardiff regularly, and indeed he would be a regular visitor to Cardiff over the remaining months of the Series 8 shoot, and not just Jenna's flat…

One day in filming, Gary the floor manager took Jenna aside.

"Jenna, we've got a bit of a break in filming now while we rearrange the set dressing. You might as well grab a tea in the canteen, it'll take at least half an hour."

"Ok, you know where I'll be if I'm needed again."

As Jenna walked off, Gary winked at Peter Capaldi behind her back.

Jenna walked into the canteen, and was horrified by what she saw. It was Matt, but his head was covered in bandages, and his arm was in a sling.

"Hello Jen" Matt spoke quietly.

"Oh my god, Matt what happened?"

"Casualty" Matt replied sadly.

"I can see you've been into casualty, but what happened?"

"No, _Casualty_!" Matt beamed. "The BBC medical drama also filmed in these studios. Moff had a word with them, and the writers wrote me into the script. I have a horrible accident filming a top BBC show, and am rushed to hospital, it's very exciting."

"You rotten sod!" Jenna laughed. "You'll need real hospital treatment once I've finished with you!"

"It's very exciting being on a different set, and some of the nurses are very nice."

"I don't wish to know about your dodgy fantasies, thank you very much!"

"I think you do. Especially as most of them involve you!"

"Most of them?"

"Well the non football ones, anyway."

"It's good to see you Matt."

"And you too Jen. I'm needed on set now, are you free tonight?"

"Of course, unless you expect me to wear a nurse's uniform!"

Matt and Jenna hugged carefully, so as not to damage Matt's carefully arranged bandages. Reunited one last time at Roath Lock, Jenna thought back to the final words she spoke to Matt at these studios.

"Please don't change."

And while her Doctor had changed, her Matt Smith hadn't changed, and would always be there for her.

The End

* * *

**Well probably. This is the end of my little tale, at some point in the future I may extend it or write a direct sequel, but I think I've written enough scenes of Jenna crying for the time being, and need to give the poor girl a break :-)**

**Seeing Jenna at the NTA awards, she looked a bit sombre without Matt by her side, you do wonder...**

**Thanks for all the reviews. I have an idea for my next story, so watch this space!**


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